Friday, December 31, 2010

what day is it?

Maybe its a blessing that I don't feel 100%.....The lack of energy prevents me from wanting to head to the kitchen, let alone cook or prepare a snack.

The HUGE bottle of wine that was given to me by a co worker is still at my office. What a wonderful birthday gift! Today and yesterday, I just didn't want it. I am keeping it at my office to avoid temptation.

So tonight, New Years Eve. A house full of teens doing god knows what. I need clarity. I need my wits about me. So no, no wine tonight. It will not provide clarity.

I felt of clear mind yesterday driving to work. I was listening to my music, and felt the way I used to feel at times. Peaceful, and happy to be alone. I want that feeling every day. I think that is called being content.

I think the weekend will be hard. My first weekend of not eating carelessly. But I watched a show last night where a young girl lost 90 pounds in 111 days. I was inspired and also disappointed in myself. If she can do 90, why can't I do 15?

This future skinny girl is off and running. Nursing a cold, I shall take a shower, and then take my best friend for his well deserved walk. Right now, this is all I know..........~

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